i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize