Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
