do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
