What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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