dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
