Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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