The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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