I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
