Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
