I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
