im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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