I don't think brook has ever known best
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
