he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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