direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
