Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Randomize