My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
