Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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