addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
