Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
