How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You need a sexual gate keeper
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
