Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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