His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
