then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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