So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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