someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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