After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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