exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
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I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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