Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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