omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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