and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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