You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
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No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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