obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
