we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
