i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
