A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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