8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
