There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
