her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.