I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.