Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness