1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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