Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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