You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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