it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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