He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize