hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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