marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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