I wanna bring you to show and tell
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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