i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize