i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
