If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
