Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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