i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
