It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
