Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
