I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
