She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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