all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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