i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
