I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize